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Many people believe that “everyone is doing it.” What a lie! Not everyone is doing it. In recent years, only 46% of high school students surveyed had engaged in sexual intercourse.[i] That’s a majority who haven’t!

Here’s another big fat lie that he has made many well-intentioned parents believe: the risk of sexually transmitted infections is so great that we have no choice but to give them condoms. Satan decided there were not enough teenagers sacrificing their innocence, so he came up with a grand scheme. He got their parents to think, If everyone is doing it, and there is something awful like AIDS out there, I had better give my kids tools to do it safely. Now he has parents and mentors saying, “We hope you don’t have sex, but if you do use a condom!” What a double-message.

It is a terrible lie that to keep your teenager safe, you have to equivocate on our message. In truth, I’m not offended at the thought of teaching teenagers about contraception, any more than I’d be offended about factually presenting other issues in an anatomy and physiology class. I am offended that we water-down our resolve to encourage them to live a live of purity and abstinence in the process.

Let make sure that every teenage girl knows that “safe sex” is one of the most dangerous activities that exists on earth. Chlamydia is the most common sexually transmitted disease circulating today.[ii] If you get it, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever even know you have it. Only a minority ever experience tell-tale symptoms…until it is too late. At that point, many women who have it experience pelvic inflammatory disease, which leads to infertility. No babies. Ever.

A condom will help to prevent chlamydia, but not all the time. Hope this isn’t TMI, but there are thirteen steps to using one of the things correctly. The end result is that they have a controversial failure rate in preventing any sexually transmitted infection. You can research it yourself on the Internet to see how varied the estimates are, but the fact is that the rates of failure are woefully high. They  just aren’t good odds when you’re talking about the risk of never having babies.

The human papilloma virus (HPV) is another common viral STI. It is so common that at least 50% of sexually active people get HPV[iii]. HPV is incurable and can be uncomfortable and embarrassing—it sometimes causes genital warts—but more important it is recognized that HPV is the only cause of cervical cancer.[iv] While other factors may make the risk of cervical cancer greater, HPV is considered “necessary” to acquire this type of cancer.4 Guess how much protection a condom provides against HPV? None. HPV is not spread by bodily fluids but by intimate skin-to-skin contact. How safe is that? It simply isn’t safe at all.

-Adapted from And the Bride Wore White, Chapter 2, Revised Edition, 2012


[i] CDC. Youth risk behavior surveillance—United States, 2009, http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss5905.pdf, MMWR 2010;59(SS-5):p20.

[ii] Chlamydia, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002321/, updated June 2010, retrieved October 12, 2011

[iii] Genital HPV Fact Sheet, http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm, updated August 2011, retrieved October 12, 2011

[iv] Kumar, Vinay; Abbas, Abul K.; Fausto, Nelson; & Mithcell, Richard N. (2007). Robbins Basic Pathology ((8th ed.0 ed.). Saunders Elsevier. Pp. 718-721, retrieved October 12, 2011